it's bleak but i have hope

my patience is the gluestick that binds

the corners lift the middle rips and the paper falls behind

i found the sheet my only treat as the stick takes a second seat

but the glue will grasp again

birds don't know how lucky they are

until their wings are clipped and suddenly the nest is far

some will pray while others lay but most will look the other way

the birds have open eyes

my weakened breath sends out the smoke

from the fire inside you lit when you lied and told me that you tried

i'm thankful to be bright when it feels like an ocean of night

the smoke will disappear

if i add together my love and care

and remove your photo frame i'm the only one to blame

the sum of your thoughts equate to my feeling of loss

math was never my forté

why does the winter world

beat me when i'm down and hold me while i drown

wind as if to taunt and ultimately flaunt the man she doesn't want

it's getting really cold

the plane only flies

because we gave it wings and believed in our dreams

like a failure to grow together through this horrible stormy weather

i think i got confused

the animals

i was never really in the deal

muggy air escapes the seal

i'm hopeless when i try to feel

and the animals are buying

the leaking cup is never full

half is enough to help me pull

but hell it iches me like wool

and the animals are dining

and i rip the tree from its root

for it will only bear my fruit

when i sail away within a suit

and the animals are whining

i'm discreetly resting in the sand

my expenditures are always grand

i'm taking off and i'm not manned

and the animals are hiding

the glass floor helps me see my fault

my conscience rules me by default

my icy path without the salt

and the animals are trying

in the black hole i can see the light

i don't exist to do what's right

the intentions clip my wings of flight

and the animals are lying

i'll rip my body limb from limb

these imperfections i will always trim

my foggy eyes are never dim

and the animals are frying

i'm anything but everything

defeated and yet still i sing

it's not the same as ranting

and the animals are crying

i've been first and i've been last

my expired role will be recast

now set the sails i'll run the mast

and the animals are dying

i'm sure they all went buying

and i know they loved the dining

but they never would stop whining

and i found them in their hiding

but at least they all were trying

it didn't help that they were lying

for all together they are frying

i'm the reason they are crying

and i won't help them when they're dying.

MWOU

the hours of absence and abandonment

crushed what was left of that styrofoam cup

disposed of the waste that will always remain

yet lifted me to a higher place

onwards and upwards they say but those lies

will never set the sail on the leaking boat

the anxiety swells and it swells as i cower and dwell

for i hold my esteem on a platter served to your highness

it seems like i point the barrel to my head

with welcoming arms the sorrow holds me under

the bellowing waves and i gasp and i gasp

but i surface in time to see your fucking face

the further you walk the faster i follow

like a wide-eyed child with endless hopes and dreams

yet to be doused as they burn on the side of the road

by a fire you lit with your ignorance

how long can i wait as the days start to blend

and the night hides the day and the colors are gone

the only relief i can feel is severed when i wake ripped from my hands

but at least it sculpts a miserable smile from your broken mouth

i can finally release and complete

the delerious art underneath the stage

as you unwillingly perform your final cherade

i will burst through the ground and take what's mine

give me a random hello i want the chance to say no

for once i will thrust you away and not stay if i may

hold you back while you enter my head instead of a son

you were never the one

yet here i stand a man with no plan as the fan that i ran

aims the air that i breathe through your perfect hair and around

the skin that i long to explore like the bottoms of oceans

and the valuable words you utter behind locked closed doors

if i hold you in my arms my intentions will force

the great collapse and divide and i'll finally succumb

to your luring force which strips my freedom to be

and my mobility sees that nothing is free and there is no we

there

this is me in my prime

and i've got lots of time

it's really important

my fickle task

and you'll never ask

repeating and constant

dissolving the grime

this is me in my prime

the clouds break as if for the first time

it's blurry, not tangible and hanging on a line

a gust caresses it and helps it away

my mind follows but my body, it will stay

they travel on four and have it all right

rest in the shade and bask in the bright

let go of themselves yet hold on to their form

we think they're askew and not of the norm

the presence of decay does not worry me

the absence of beauty negates my will to be

a genuine care told by your handshake

can attempt to heal, resurrect and alleviate

one-fourth there, i reflect

and savor the faces i tried to collect

i can only be the sum of my parts

broken skin and an antimatter heart

... the words that don't do you justice

i must be dreaming

it's too perfect of a day

how can something so

beautiful exist

look at that

sideways smile

monday misery disappears

complete peace

on your face

a prettier picture never painted

the sun tries to

warm me up

my heart's already beaming

we can be happy people too

to feel you on the outside

eases my battered joints

to feel you on the inside

lights the monotony of life

something to

care for now

responsibilty without burden

we finally

see the world

those colors weren't there before

the image in

my mind's eye

perfection without description

we can be happy people too

those colors weren't there before

i wonder how many anxious words

have been blocked by the intimidating force of the blinking cursor. it's fully possible to stare at it for an hour and not bring yourself to say a thing.

i wonder how many broken hearts

were a direct result of overcoming the fear of the cursor. actually expressing one's self with full responsibility behind one's words.

i wonder what is right, what is just and what is possible. i wonder why our indecisive minds inhibit our happiness. i wonder why we long for something that may never be. i wonder why something that fits the description of a cartoon can change it all. i wonder why we gave something so torturous to us such a dainty name. i wonder why we hold out-

but then again, i wonder why i have so many questions.

dance on my grave; you are allowed.

a fleck

of dry skin flies off me and into the air. after a few twisty turns, it ends up in a garbage can. the garbage is taken out, and the sanitary engineers collect it. at this point, it's a crapshoot. no one really knows where it will end up exactly, i guess they have the zoning charts. by now the fleck is more or less gone; having mixed with the different juices found in garbage, it's almost not there. but i see it.

the "juice" enters the ground, and as all water sources are interconnected, it ends up in the ocean. by now the fleck is seen only on the particle level. like air, it no longer has any physical properties, tangible or visual.

water evaporates.

our little fleck, smaller (much smaller) than it used to be, is now flying again. it droops and sways and twirls. continuously rising, it hits the atmosphere, the ozone. our friend, the fleck (or speck by now... yes, he will be the speck from now on) has somehow ridden the coattails of matter up up and away into space. it's very cold for a speck of flesh, but on the molecular level, it doesn't seem to matter much. time doesn't exist for a speck in space, so let's jump a few hundred years.

our speck has reached pluto. is it still pluto? i think it's a moon now, with a numerical name. anyway, the speck is dwarfed by this planet, but heck, he was dwarfed by a blade of grass on his home planet. so insignificant, now, is the speck, relative to pluto.

the thing about pluto is, relative to our home star, it's a miserable fucking speck too. and the sun is a miserable fucking speck in comparison to the whole fucking galaxy, and the galaxy is a fucking shitstain on the undergarment that is the universe.

but the speck matters to me.